"There are two of me," sings Amy Grant on her song, "Shadows," from her 1988 album, Lead Me On, my favorite album by her, "one does the right thing, one cannot see." The apostle Paul admits the same truth regarding every born-again believer: "Now if I do what I do not want to do," meaning the "me" that has been awakened / revived / resurrected / regenerated by the grace of God (2 Cor. 5:17, 18, 19, 20, 21; Eph. 1:20 with Eph. 2:5, 6, 8, 9; Titus 3:5; James 1:18), "it is no longer I [the one whom God regenerated] who do it [the new or regenerated me does not do the sinning], but it is sin living in me that does it" (Rom. 7:20 NIV). The old nature is passing away but it is not ultimately and finally dead yet. The new nature longs to do God's perfect will. There is a battle within every born-again child of God, between the old person and the new person, and that will not change until we die and are with Christ (2 Cor. 5:1, 2, 3, 4, 5) or until Jesus returns and changes us forever (1 Cor. 15:42-57).
THERE ARE TWO OF ME
That almost seems psychotic, doesn't it? We speak as though we have two personalities: a good one and a bad one. In truth, though, we actually do have two natures that oppose each other within us--an old sinful nature and a new spiritual nature. We are, like Jesus, one person with two natures: Jesus retains a human nature and an eternally-divine nature; while we possess a sin-nature and a regenerated spirit-nature. The one who does not trust in Christ also has two natures: the sin-nature, which for all intent and purposes we can equate with the fallen human nature, and the spirit-nature that is dead / inactive / degenerate (and needs regeneration) / cut off from a right relationship with God his Creator (Isa. 59:2; Eph. 2:1, 2, 3). Though alive, he is dead (cf. Luke 15:24), because real life is found only in the Life-giver (John 6:63; James 1:18). As redeemed believers, we experience a life in Christ that is freed from the dominion of sin (Rom. 6:14), though we still feel the effects of sin.
When God warned Adam and Eve that they would die, if they chose not to obey His one and only command (Gen. 2:16, 17), they most likely did not understand death to include their spirit-nature--the means by which we communicate with God: they possessed a human nature and a spirit-nature. (We cannot be certain that they understood the spiritual dynamic of being alive as special creations of God--that they were human and spiritual.) This is why we must be born from above (John 3:3, 5, 6, 7, 8), or regenerated (Titus 3:5), in order to see the Kingdom of Heaven. "Flesh," or the sin-nature (or, if you prefer, the fallen human nature--all those inherent attributes we possess by God's own design that render us ontologically human), cannot inherit the Kingdom of God (1 Cor. 15:50). There is no war within the non-believer except by means of the conscience which she possesses at birth. She knows right from wrong because of conscience. But she cannot--lacks the ability to--perform acts of righteousness, as God understands absolute righteousness, because the sin nature will not allow her to do so (Rom. 8:8). The sin-nature within us fallen ones makes us hostile to God: we will not subject ourselves to God because we cannot willingly subject ourselves to God (Rom. 8:7).
There is slavery language used of all people who are "dead" in their sins: not only are they spiritually dead (Eph. 2:1, 2, 3), but they are also slaves of sin (John 8:34), as well as actual slaves of the Devil (John 8:44; 2 Cor. 4:4)--they are sold as slaves (Rom. 7:14) and dominated by sin. But for the regenerate believer, the issue is complex, being now "slaves of righteousness" but who feel the effects of having been "sold under sin":
This so-called μέλος (mélos) is often translated "members," or "members of the body," as though we sin because of our bodies. That is not so. A total invalid, who cannot move his body to function, can still sin in his mind and heart. The battle presented here is the "body" / fallen personality against the renewed mind. The born-again believer "has a new or 'inner' person who is alive to God and an 'old self' (Rom. 6:6) ... This aspect of Paul has such strength that he feels like a prisoner, held captive ... to sin's thrall."2 This leads Paul to exacerbation! "Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's Law but, because of my sinful nature, I am a slave to sin" (Rom. 7:24-25 NLT).
MY OWN WORST ENEMY
The person who has betrayed me most in my life is me. I am my own worst enemy. Although, I have to admit, the devil deserves his own due in his hatred of and assaults upon me (Job 1:6; Zech. 3:1; Rev. 12:10). But recently I have learned that being my own worst critic is insulting to God. As I was reading the introduction to Erwin Lutzer's Cries from the Cross: A Journey into the Heart of Jesus (a must-read), he stated that only in the suffering of the Cross can we find forgiveness for our sins, but also "healing for our deepest hurts."3 I thought to myself: My "deepest hurt" is what I did to Jesus, my roommate in college, Southeastern Seminary, my parents and brother, my friends and my church family when I chose to victimize a friend and dormmate instead of crucifying my flesh and clinging to Jesus. My deepest pain, my unhealed wound, is not what anyone did to me but what I did to others. Being victimized by someone can be terrible. But being the victimizer can be tormentingly terrible.
SELF-CONDEMNATION
There is no doubt that I have been limping through life emotionally since 2012 as Jacob did physically (Gen. 32:22-32). But Dr. Lutzer lovingly reminds us that "our self-condemnation must end" because of the Cross! "We need no longer keep score. We must not believe that God thinks about us as we think about ourselves."4 I noted to myself in the margin: "You should probably memorize this." In the Cross, "the deepest injustices of humanity," including my own sin, "were addressed."5 "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Rom. 8:1 NASB). I know this truth. I believe it! But at times I find living out this truth, without referencing my sin, to be quite the challenge.
GUILT IS AN IDOL
But then Dr. Lutzer reminds us of the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer: "Guilt is an idol some people refuse to give up." My self-condemnation exposes my lack of faith to really believe Romans 8:1: there is no condemnation for William Watson Birch the sinner because I am in Christ Jesus. Every single one of my heinous sins, including my guilt and shame of 2012, is credited to the account of Jesus; while the totality of the righteousness and holiness of Jesus Christ is credited undeservedly to my spiritual account. I am, by grace, viewed by a holy and just God to be as holy as Jesus (Rom. 3:21-26). God the Father loves me as much as He loves Jesus (John 17:23). If I refuse to embrace this forgiveness and righteousness I have been granted then I "insult God" because I would be living "as though Christ's death were insufficient for [my] sins."6
OPEN WOUND OF LOVE
If God has forgiven me, and gifted me the righteousness and holiness of Jesus, then I would be spitting in His face for not forgiving myself and embracing His wonderful and eternal grace. Dr. Lutzer then quotes Richard Foster: "Today the heart of God is an open wound of love. He aches over our distance and preoccupation. He mourns that we do not draw near to Him. He grieves that we have forgotten Him."7 By focusing on my past sin, my refusing to let my self-woundedness heal, I prove Scripture right that sin separates me from God (Isa. 59:2). But in the mind of God, while considering the truth of Romans 8:29-30, God answers back: "What sin?" There is no need for my past to hinder my present relationship with God because all of that perversity is drowned in the Sea of Forgetfulness (Mic. 7:19; cf. Ps. 103:12; Isa. 43:25; Jer. 31:34; Heb. 8:12; Rev. 1:5; 5:9, 10). I may have blindsided myself, and altered the course of the future toward which I was laboring, but the LORD has seen fit, by His grace and mercy, to redeem even someone as sinful as me. If He did this for me then He can certainly do the same for you! Call upon Jesus even now.
CONCLUSION
The consequences of some sins can be downright devastating. Even what others think of as "little sins," "white lies," can destroy a person. "A big forest fire can be started with only a little flame. And the tongue is like a fire [cf. Acts 2:3]. It is a whole world of evil among the parts of our bodies. The tongue spreads its evil through the whole body. The tongue is set on fire by hell and it starts a fire that influences all of life" (James 3:5-6 NCV). Jesus says that we can figuratively murder someone with our words and destroy them (Matt. 5:21-22). That is no small sin. Perhaps there are no small sins--all sin drove Jesus to the Cross. You have to keep a close watch on yourself or you will be blindsided by yourself.
"Oh, we have to keep a watch on our shadows / Every move they secretly make / We try to be so close to Heaven / But then our shadows, they run away, they pull us away." "Therefore, if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. ... Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do, in word or deed, do all in the Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father" (Col. 3:1, 2, 16, 17). If you cannot give thanks to Jesus in the words you speak or in the actions you take then that is what ought not be done. I had to learn this the hard way. I had to ruin my future in order to learn this lesson. So at least learn from my poor, sinful, wretched choices. Cling tightly to Jesus.
__________
1 Daniel M. Doriani, Reformed Expository Commentary: Romans (Phillipsburg: P&R Publishing, 2021), 231-32.
2 Ibid., 236.
3 Erwin W. Lutzer, Cries from the Cross: A Journey into the Heart of Jesus (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2015), 24.
4 Ibid., 25.
5 Ibid.
6 Ibid., 26.
7 Ibid.
THERE ARE TWO OF ME
That almost seems psychotic, doesn't it? We speak as though we have two personalities: a good one and a bad one. In truth, though, we actually do have two natures that oppose each other within us--an old sinful nature and a new spiritual nature. We are, like Jesus, one person with two natures: Jesus retains a human nature and an eternally-divine nature; while we possess a sin-nature and a regenerated spirit-nature. The one who does not trust in Christ also has two natures: the sin-nature, which for all intent and purposes we can equate with the fallen human nature, and the spirit-nature that is dead / inactive / degenerate (and needs regeneration) / cut off from a right relationship with God his Creator (Isa. 59:2; Eph. 2:1, 2, 3). Though alive, he is dead (cf. Luke 15:24), because real life is found only in the Life-giver (John 6:63; James 1:18). As redeemed believers, we experience a life in Christ that is freed from the dominion of sin (Rom. 6:14), though we still feel the effects of sin.
When God warned Adam and Eve that they would die, if they chose not to obey His one and only command (Gen. 2:16, 17), they most likely did not understand death to include their spirit-nature--the means by which we communicate with God: they possessed a human nature and a spirit-nature. (We cannot be certain that they understood the spiritual dynamic of being alive as special creations of God--that they were human and spiritual.) This is why we must be born from above (John 3:3, 5, 6, 7, 8), or regenerated (Titus 3:5), in order to see the Kingdom of Heaven. "Flesh," or the sin-nature (or, if you prefer, the fallen human nature--all those inherent attributes we possess by God's own design that render us ontologically human), cannot inherit the Kingdom of God (1 Cor. 15:50). There is no war within the non-believer except by means of the conscience which she possesses at birth. She knows right from wrong because of conscience. But she cannot--lacks the ability to--perform acts of righteousness, as God understands absolute righteousness, because the sin nature will not allow her to do so (Rom. 8:8). The sin-nature within us fallen ones makes us hostile to God: we will not subject ourselves to God because we cannot willingly subject ourselves to God (Rom. 8:7).
There is slavery language used of all people who are "dead" in their sins: not only are they spiritually dead (Eph. 2:1, 2, 3), but they are also slaves of sin (John 8:34), as well as actual slaves of the Devil (John 8:44; 2 Cor. 4:4)--they are sold as slaves (Rom. 7:14) and dominated by sin. But for the regenerate believer, the issue is complex, being now "slaves of righteousness" but who feel the effects of having been "sold under sin":
"Sold under sin" (Rom. 7:14b) hints that the redeemed, although "slaves of righteousness" (Rom. 6:18), still experience conditions akin to slavery. ... Here [at Rom. 7:15], as John Calvin says, Paul "in his own person describes" the great "weakness of the faithful." The apostle has already asserted that no one can keep the Law and that people do what they hate. From Jesus, we also know that good and evil do battle as people weigh their options (Matt. 7:13-27). Paul adds that Christians can hate their own actions. We can be a mystery to ourselves. ... When Paul denies that "I" violate the Law, he blames "sin," which he considers "an alien power that brings human beings into subjection." Yet he "doesn't absolve the 'I' of ... responsibility." Humans are responsible agents even if war rages within. Also, when Paul as a redeemed man appraises his own behavior, he has critical distance from it. Yes, he sins, but the sinner is not his true self, the man he knows best.1The one believing in Christ by the grace of God knows his new nature: he is changed (John 3:3, 5, 6, 7, 8; 2 Cor. 5:17; Titus 3:5; James 1:18). He used to love his sin and hate righteousness; but now he loves righteousness and hates his sin. He used to mock the worship of God; but now he loves to worship God his King, his Redeemer, his Creator. He is wearied of his sin but he rests in the finished work of Jesus. His desire is holiness. But he sees another work within him that opposes his new self (Gal. 5:16, 17, 19, 20, 21). "So I've discovered this truth: Evil is present with me [the "renewed me" who loves Christ] even when I want to do what God's standards [Laws] say is good. I take pleasure in God's standards [Laws] in my inner being [the renewed me]. However, I see a different standard [or Law] ⌞at work⌟ throughout my body [μέλος, figuratively, any function of human personality: in this case the fallen human personality]. It is at war with the standards my mind sets [the Law of my mind--the Law of God I want to obey] and tries to take me captive to sin's standards which still exist throughout my body" (Rom. 7:21-23 GW).
This so-called μέλος (mélos) is often translated "members," or "members of the body," as though we sin because of our bodies. That is not so. A total invalid, who cannot move his body to function, can still sin in his mind and heart. The battle presented here is the "body" / fallen personality against the renewed mind. The born-again believer "has a new or 'inner' person who is alive to God and an 'old self' (Rom. 6:6) ... This aspect of Paul has such strength that he feels like a prisoner, held captive ... to sin's thrall."2 This leads Paul to exacerbation! "Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's Law but, because of my sinful nature, I am a slave to sin" (Rom. 7:24-25 NLT).
MY OWN WORST ENEMY
The person who has betrayed me most in my life is me. I am my own worst enemy. Although, I have to admit, the devil deserves his own due in his hatred of and assaults upon me (Job 1:6; Zech. 3:1; Rev. 12:10). But recently I have learned that being my own worst critic is insulting to God. As I was reading the introduction to Erwin Lutzer's Cries from the Cross: A Journey into the Heart of Jesus (a must-read), he stated that only in the suffering of the Cross can we find forgiveness for our sins, but also "healing for our deepest hurts."3 I thought to myself: My "deepest hurt" is what I did to Jesus, my roommate in college, Southeastern Seminary, my parents and brother, my friends and my church family when I chose to victimize a friend and dormmate instead of crucifying my flesh and clinging to Jesus. My deepest pain, my unhealed wound, is not what anyone did to me but what I did to others. Being victimized by someone can be terrible. But being the victimizer can be tormentingly terrible.
SELF-CONDEMNATION
There is no doubt that I have been limping through life emotionally since 2012 as Jacob did physically (Gen. 32:22-32). But Dr. Lutzer lovingly reminds us that "our self-condemnation must end" because of the Cross! "We need no longer keep score. We must not believe that God thinks about us as we think about ourselves."4 I noted to myself in the margin: "You should probably memorize this." In the Cross, "the deepest injustices of humanity," including my own sin, "were addressed."5 "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Rom. 8:1 NASB). I know this truth. I believe it! But at times I find living out this truth, without referencing my sin, to be quite the challenge.
GUILT IS AN IDOL
But then Dr. Lutzer reminds us of the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer: "Guilt is an idol some people refuse to give up." My self-condemnation exposes my lack of faith to really believe Romans 8:1: there is no condemnation for William Watson Birch the sinner because I am in Christ Jesus. Every single one of my heinous sins, including my guilt and shame of 2012, is credited to the account of Jesus; while the totality of the righteousness and holiness of Jesus Christ is credited undeservedly to my spiritual account. I am, by grace, viewed by a holy and just God to be as holy as Jesus (Rom. 3:21-26). God the Father loves me as much as He loves Jesus (John 17:23). If I refuse to embrace this forgiveness and righteousness I have been granted then I "insult God" because I would be living "as though Christ's death were insufficient for [my] sins."6
OPEN WOUND OF LOVE
If God has forgiven me, and gifted me the righteousness and holiness of Jesus, then I would be spitting in His face for not forgiving myself and embracing His wonderful and eternal grace. Dr. Lutzer then quotes Richard Foster: "Today the heart of God is an open wound of love. He aches over our distance and preoccupation. He mourns that we do not draw near to Him. He grieves that we have forgotten Him."7 By focusing on my past sin, my refusing to let my self-woundedness heal, I prove Scripture right that sin separates me from God (Isa. 59:2). But in the mind of God, while considering the truth of Romans 8:29-30, God answers back: "What sin?" There is no need for my past to hinder my present relationship with God because all of that perversity is drowned in the Sea of Forgetfulness (Mic. 7:19; cf. Ps. 103:12; Isa. 43:25; Jer. 31:34; Heb. 8:12; Rev. 1:5; 5:9, 10). I may have blindsided myself, and altered the course of the future toward which I was laboring, but the LORD has seen fit, by His grace and mercy, to redeem even someone as sinful as me. If He did this for me then He can certainly do the same for you! Call upon Jesus even now.
CONCLUSION
The consequences of some sins can be downright devastating. Even what others think of as "little sins," "white lies," can destroy a person. "A big forest fire can be started with only a little flame. And the tongue is like a fire [cf. Acts 2:3]. It is a whole world of evil among the parts of our bodies. The tongue spreads its evil through the whole body. The tongue is set on fire by hell and it starts a fire that influences all of life" (James 3:5-6 NCV). Jesus says that we can figuratively murder someone with our words and destroy them (Matt. 5:21-22). That is no small sin. Perhaps there are no small sins--all sin drove Jesus to the Cross. You have to keep a close watch on yourself or you will be blindsided by yourself.
"Oh, we have to keep a watch on our shadows / Every move they secretly make / We try to be so close to Heaven / But then our shadows, they run away, they pull us away." "Therefore, if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. ... Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do, in word or deed, do all in the Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father" (Col. 3:1, 2, 16, 17). If you cannot give thanks to Jesus in the words you speak or in the actions you take then that is what ought not be done. I had to learn this the hard way. I had to ruin my future in order to learn this lesson. So at least learn from my poor, sinful, wretched choices. Cling tightly to Jesus.
__________
1 Daniel M. Doriani, Reformed Expository Commentary: Romans (Phillipsburg: P&R Publishing, 2021), 231-32.
2 Ibid., 236.
3 Erwin W. Lutzer, Cries from the Cross: A Journey into the Heart of Jesus (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2015), 24.
4 Ibid., 25.
5 Ibid.
6 Ibid., 26.
7 Ibid.
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